I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
