Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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