the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize