We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
