Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
