There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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