how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
