9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
