Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
As shirtless as possible
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
