Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
