Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
