Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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