Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
