Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
