doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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