I am puke
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize