i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
