i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize