I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
