I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
