You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just found a bag of teeth...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
