don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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