I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
