This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
