i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
