if you like me you must not know who I am
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
