It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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