the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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