you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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