Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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