then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
