look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize