So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
