I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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