you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
