Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
