come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
