I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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