I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Ladies don't puke and tell
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
