He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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