yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
