I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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