i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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