you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
