She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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