She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
