Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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