You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
