dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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