i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
