I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
