i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
