It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
