...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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