I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
