He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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