therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
