Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
