I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You are the jesus of drinking
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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