i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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