I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
