He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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