Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
